Bryant - Disconnection, depression, identity confusion, emotional suppression

The Breaking Point
When I began this process, I felt out of control. It was strange because on paper everything looked right. I had a great job, a wonderful family, a quiet neighborhood, and a decent relationship with my parents. Yet my emotions were never connected to any of it. I felt anxious, depressed, and separated from something inside of myself that I had never really explored.

I questioned what I was doing and who I had become. I wondered if anything in me would ever change. I wanted my life to line up with whatever truth existed in me, even though I barely knew what that truth was. I wanted to understand who I was, not who others believed me to be. I wanted to heal.

The Search
I felt like I had been living inside a comfortable construct that also fed my discontent. I knew I had to step outside of it, even if I didn’t know what I would find. I wanted to feel connected to myself again. I wanted to understand the purpose behind my own life, even if I could only sense it in the distance.

Beginning this work required trust. Trust in myself to look honestly at what I carried. Trust that I could uncover what was unprocessed. Trust that the safety I needed would be there while I explored it.

The Work
The process was difficult but manageable. It was not what I expected, although the truth is I did not know what I expected at all. I was given space to reveal what I had been holding since childhood. And in that space, Andrew guided me, encouraged me, and helped me stay in the work that only I could do.

Piece by piece, things began to shift. I started to recognize parts of who I truly am. I gained the tools to continue the processing and integration on my own. I found confidence in my ability to move forward. I learned that it was simply enough to be me.

The Return
Today I feel more connected to who I am and who I want to become. I feel like something in me was pried away from the old structure that held me together but also held me back. I was dropped onto a familiar but uncomfortable road, a road toward my own self-actualization.

I do not feel delivered from difficulty. I feel capable of meeting it. I feel grounded, present, and more alive in my own life. Because of that, the connections with my wife and children are more powerful and more meaningful. Most importantly, I am connected with myself. I can offer myself the grace, patience, and safety I have always needed.

I am still on that road. But I am grateful to be walking it, and I am moving forward with courage.